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Confessions

Confessions of a Garbage Disposal Worker

“Alcoholism is very high among garbage collectors. No onereally cares whether we are drunk; there’s no training manual”

Confessions of a Luxury Watch Salesman

“I buff a watch, replace the leather straps, and give you a warranty card in a new box. How would you know?”

Confessions of a Bollywood Agent

“Once a guy bluntly asked me if I have any clients who are willing to ‘entertain’ foreign guests”

Confessions of a Party Organiser

“The biggest problem during a New Year’s Eve do is the cops, obviously. My tactic is to keep a case of Old Monk for them”

Confessions of an Indian Diplomat’s Wife

“Indian women are seen to be formal in an informal way... We can host guests at short notice and turn out in our best silks”

Confessions of a Systems Administrator

“When you give a local vendor your computer... they often slip in a different hard disk. They might change the RAM”

Confessions of a Minister’s Peon

“The Shiv Sena and BJP had the worst ministers. They were very insulting and used abusive language”

Confessions of a Wedding Band-Baaja Member

“Most band mem­bers who play wind instruments last 15-20 years in the job. The strain on the mouth leads to tubercu­losis and cancer”

A British Lawyer in India

There were cultural differences to cope with. Back home, we start work 8 am, whereas on my first day here, I turned up at 8.45 and found the place locked.

Confessions of a JNU guard

“According to the rules, we have to stop them, but many couples get angry when they are caught in the act.”

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