A 17-year-old in his final year of school wonders what lies ahead
Vir Khanna Vir Khanna | 21 Apr, 2020
My first day of my final year in school began in front of a 13-inch laptop. I was introduced to my Class 12 teachers via Zoom and I could see 23 classmates in tiny windows on the screen.
It was all a bit surreal, but this is hardly the weirdest thing to happen to the batch of 2020-21 in the last month. Lakhs of students like me across India have been planning our academic schedule through Class 11 because we know how crucial our Class 12 results are. I’ve spent over 100 hours taking repeated mock exams, besides going for coaching. A friend of mine has been preparing for IIT-JEE for the last three years. Hopefully, it will happen by June, but no one knows. These are all important examinations to decide college for us and our future careers.
The uncertainty of it all is particularly stressful. Just like Olympians train to hit their peak at a particular time, there is a momentum to studying as well. You can only try so hard so long; a disruption like this just kills it. As I work at home, I feel the edge I had been working so long for slipping away.
Everyone is on Zoom now and no doubt we are lucky to have this option. However, having switched to distance learning completely over the last month, I can clearly attest it does not bear comparison to the traditional classroom. My subjects are Physics, Chemistry and Mathematics and the workload at this stage is huge. Getting the nuances within these extremely complex fields requires an environment that fosters debate between students and teachers. I’m interested in hearing what my peers’ opinions are because it gives me clarity. All this is lost in a virtual exchange. There are 23 other students talking at the same time, the teacher is struggling to hear us all. It ends up being really chaotic. The online classroom works if students are disciplined and if everyone has a stable internet connection. Hopefully, as time goes by and we realise we have no choice but to make do with a virtual classroom, our focus will return.
I have stopped thinking about college for now because there are so many confusing questions and so few answers. Is applying abroad or out of Delhi worth it, if lockdowns are going to be the norm? Should I take a gap year and wait for the pandemic to blow over? Because college is an introduction to a semi-adult world. It is as much about a social life as about learning and I don’t want to do it online. Meanwhile, I am sticking to my academic plan for the next three-six months. I have to submit a 1,500-word essay in four subjects and create a 20-minute presentation on the reliability of memory. I have to take aptitude tests and prepare for my first-term exams. Though I was looking forward to starting an exciting new chapter in my life and leaving home, I know that may have to be re-evaluated. At least, I am not the only one who is in flux, what’s happening to me is happening to everyone.
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