Manu Gandhi on the Mahatma’s Final Hours

January 28, 1948, Birla House, New Delhi

The prayer was at 3:30

THE DAILY ROUTINE of the post-prayer activi­ties was followed. During the bath Bapu asked me, ‘Abha still seems perturbed.’ I said yes. Bapu said, ‘You should find out the reason for it.’ I replied, ‘I feel that she is worried because Kanubhai eats uncooked food. She also harbours a feeling that you are prejudiced against her. She cannot bear it when you praise any young woman. But my impression could be wrong.’ Bapu said, ‘You are correct. This is a tough task.’ I feel that Bapu has immense love for me. I observe and experience that.

Sarla wept and complained that Bapu showed his disdain towards her in his talks with her. I had to spend a lot of time as­suaging her feelings. There were no other incidents today.

Bapu’s daily schedule

Prayer at 3:30, wrote letters, slept at 5:10, talked with Ghanshyam­das after massage and bath, meeting with Rajendra Babu at 9:30, met Khorshedbehn, lay down to rest thereafter, met Sir Sultan Ahmed, Trilokinath from Tehri, did daily spinning, meeting with Central Relief Committee at 2:00, Panditji came, T. Prakasham came and Bansidhar of Bhavnagar came to talk about groundnut cultivation, the Nawab of Hyderabad Jung Sadiq Ali Khan came, Narendra Bahadur, Girdarilal Puri, and V. P. Menon came. At­tended the prayer, talked with Sudhir Ghosh and Vincent Sheean during the walk, Begum Aijaz Rasul, Maulana Ismail Khan, Kisanlal of Gwalior, and Jairamdas came later in the day.

January 29, 1948, Birla House

There are stories about Dahyabhai. Bapuji said, ‘Why should people have an opportunity to talk about us? The truth should be out in the open. If a person on whom the country depends were to misuse power, where would we find ourselves? How long will we keep our prestige? I do not consider this true freedom, but we have independence from external rule; we will put a blot on our freedom.’

Such is the atmosphere. Bapu has only recently emerged from the fast. May God assuage Bapu’s suffering. I still feel a sword hanging over our heads. Bapuji is not his usual jovial self. I do not know what God has in store for him.

January, 29, 1948, Thursday, Birla House

The prayer was at 3:30. Bhabhi did not wake up for the prayers. We sang ‘Premal Jyoti’.

I woke her after the prayer and gave her water to drink. I had breakfast and prepared Bapu’s massage and cut vegetables for Bapu’s meal. Jayaprakash came for a talk. Bapu expressed his unhappiness regarding the socialist party to him. That party will support Bapu so long as he is alive. Bapu also keeps him by his side.

I helped Bapu with his bath. We talked during that time. I told him, ‘I am younger to Bhabhi, I am also a sister-in-law. She does not like it if you talk about her to me.’ Bapu said, ‘I know it is a bad habit. But it is difficult to get any work done from her.’ Bapuji poured his heart out to me. I told him that she needs time to talk with him. Bapu said, ‘I will, but my priority is to give you time, then Abha, and followed by Sarala.’ Bapu spoke with utter sweetness. These past days Bapuji speaks to me with utmost love and sweetness.

During the meal Bapu talked with Bhabhi for almost a quarter of an hour; from Bhabhi I learnt that she had developed some misunderstandings regarding me. But later she clarified that there was no isunderstanding at all. May God keep our relationship good.

Bapu’s schedule: prayer, writing letters, Jayaprakash came, Padmaja, Krishna, Tara, and Indira came at 10:30.

The local maulanas came, Sudhir Ghosh and Diwan of Gwalior came, Margaret Bourke-White came, so did Rajan Nehru, Sohan Sinh, and Randhir Singh Mehta. After the prayer Maulana Sahib and K. M. Munshi walked with him, and the prime minister of Hyderabad, Rajkumaribehn, and

Rameshwaribehn came.

Bapu lay down at 9:30.

He said that his mind was in a whirl and that he was dizzy, and still Chand wanted to talk with him. Bhabhi got irritated with her.

Bapu said that he wondered as to where he found himself and what work he was to do? How do we get peace from this unrest? He said a line of ‘Hai Bahare Bagh Yeh Duniya Chand Roz’. He was very restless and in pain. He feels that India is still unsteady and there are differences in the Cabinet.

I applied oil to Bapu’s head and then talked with Bhabhi about Bapu. Devadas Kaka came. They spoke in private for five minutes.

He slept at 10:30; after a while he had a bout of coughing. I urged him to take penicillin tablets. Bapu said, ‘You are the only partner in this yajna. I have been a mother to you and no one else and have educated you. If I were to die of a disease, even a tiny boil, you should loudly and repeatedly proclaim to the world that he was an imposter and a hypocrite Mahatma. Only then would my soul, wherever it might be, find peace. If I die of disease, declare me to be an imposter even if people abuse and even kill you for my sake. But if there is another explosion like the one a week before or if someone were to shoot me with bullets and I receive them on my chest and cry out not in pain but speak the name of Rama, do tell the world that he was a true Mahatma.’

He passed the night alright. Early next morning, after the prayers, I saw that Bapu’s bottle of clove powder was empty. I asked him if I should refill it. He said, ‘If I am still alive, refill it at night.’ I do not understand why Bapuji keeps repeating this.

January, 30, 1948, Friday

[I write this at 2:30 a.m.]

The prayer was at 3:30. Bhabhi did not wake up for the prayer. I sang ‘Thake na thake Manvi na leje Visamo’ at Bapu’s instance. Like every other day, I brought Bapuji inside and wrapped a blanket around him. I went back to sleep. I prepared for his massage. Bapu had his massage. During the bath he asked me, ‘Do you exercise your hand?’ I replied in the negative. Bapu said, ‘I do not like it, one must do what one has promised.’ The thread in my braids was long. He asked why I had used such a long thread to braid my hair. I told him, ‘Bapu my hair has split ends, therefore I have used a longer thread. And I have dandruff in my hair.’ Bapu said, ‘If there is dandruff, you must wash your hair clean and ap­ply oil to every strand. If all fails, the final remedy is to cut the hair short.’ He was weighed when he came out. He weighed 109.5 lbs. Bapuji went out in the sun and had a meal of fruits, milk, and vegetable soup. He talked with Pyarelalji about Noakhali. After he left, Bapuji walked unaided. I said, ‘Bapu how well you look.’ He said, ‘Very well, isn’t it? Ekla Chalo . . .’

At 12:30 Dr Bhargava came; he needs a building for his nursing home. He suggested the Yatim Khana (the orphanage). Bapu said, ‘How long will the government work out of fear of me. They must act not due to my fear but because they so desire. Ask Niyogi when he comes here.’ He told me to remind him of this when the local Muslims came to visit him.

The local Muslims came. I reminded Bapu about the Yatim Khana. He said, ‘Good that I told you to remind me. I had forgotten.’ Bapu asked them, and they said that it should not be disturbed for the time being as there were children living in the building. Bapu replied, ‘Alright. I just asked. Why should we waste time over it.’ They asked him about his visit to Wardha and said that you have said that the work there will be adversely affected if you did not go, but you must come back on the 14th. Bapu said, ‘I do expect to be back here on the 14th. But it is in the hands of Khuda. This is a matter of providence, between heaven and earth.’ I began to arrange and pack his clothes for the journey. He said, ‘Who knows if I would be alive even this evening. We do not know even the next moment. Na Janyu Janki Nathe . . .’

He came out of the bathroom, and I walked by his side as a walking stick. Bhabhi asked if Kishorelalbhai should be informed by a telegram about his visit. Bapu said, ‘I will speak about it in the prayer. That will reach faster.’

Bapu told Bisenbhai to bring him the letters and that he would reply to as many as he possibly can.

At 2:00 p.m. we applied a mudpack and pressed his feet. Bapu told Chand that it was her duty to stay in Delhi. He told her that she as a relative of Sushila ought to stay back to Delhi. ‘I will not leave Manu behind.’ Chand was unhappy at that. Bapu said, ‘I am to go to Sevagram, but I do not think that I would actually go.’ Bapu asked about the date. I said, ‘Bapu all your journeys start on Mondays.’ After we removed the mudpack we went to visit Vijayabehn. We returned at 4:15. Bapu’s meal was delayed but Bapu said not a word about it. We quickly peeled oranges.

Sardar was with Bapu. They were discussing grave matters about resignation from the Cabinet. Bapu told him that he cannot leave the Cabinet. This delayed us by ten minutes.

We started walking for the prayer at 5:10 p.m.

Bapu said, ‘Today I am late by ten minutes. Why did you not point to the watch?’ Bhabhi said, ‘Bapu you were engrossed in a serious discussion. Sardar has come after a gap of many days. How could I interrupt? I did not have the courage to do so.’ Bapu said, ‘That is a violation of the duty of nurses; you must keep the time.’

I said, ‘Bapu of late, your watch is feeling neglected.’ Bapu said, ‘I have not even started my walks. I have increased my food intake. I do not want to drink so much water. It is useless. I pass urine normally.’ We climbed the steps. Bapu moved his hands from our shoulders and folded them to greet the people. I was to his left, Bhabhi to his right. There was a line of people on either side. A man in ‘military’ uniform came from my side with folded hands. I thought that he wished to offer his pranam. I held his hand to stop him. He freed his hand forcefully and fired shot after shot from a pistol in his hand. What was that? What hap­pened? The rosary fell from my hand, the spittoon also fell to the ground. At the sound of the first shot Bapu placed his hand on my shoulder and walked ahead; the assassin walked backwards. He fired two bullets in the stomach and one in the chest. Bapu’s head fell towards Bhabhi, who could not hold him. He fell to the ground. At that moment Bapu said ‘Rama, Rama’; and then life left him. Bhabhi and I were on either side of him.

The assassin tried to run away. The gardener of the house and people captured him. The gardener hit him with a sickle. The assassin was injured.

All of us brought Bapu inside. Bhabhi screamed, ‘Call Sardar, get some water.’ Sardar came. We tried to pour water in Bapu’s mouth.

It came out. Just then Dr Bhargava came. He examined Bapu.

Sardar asked, ‘Is there any hope?’ He said no. Jawaharlalji came, did his pranam, and wept like a child in Sardar’s lap. All of us wept.

Pyarelalji said, ‘What has Bapu taught us? Start reciting the Gita.’

We began the recitation, but how were we to do it? Father of the Nation, helper of the helpless millions! His soul left the body. Who could have imagined that the room in which there was laughter and joy just moments ago would echo with cries of our pathetic weeping. Just then Devadas Kaka and children came. Every day Gopu would come shouting ‘Dada, Dada’ and do his pranam. Today he is bereft of his ‘Dada’. We could not look into the eyes of one another.

People were impatient for darshan. They broke glasses. We carried Bapu’s body to the verandah. But it was inconvenient. It was decided to carry him to the upper floor. A platform was made on the terrace, and we took him there. People did their darshan. He was brought down after an hour.

We prepared to bathe Bapu’s lifeless body. Bhabhi made a plaster of cow dung in the bathroom. But it took us a long time to deter­mine how we should bathe him and what we should do. The recitation of the Gita and of the Guru Granth Saheb continued.

There was a crowd of photographers. Kaka permitted one of them to come in. Nandlalbhai, Sarla, and others went crazy to get themselves photographed. They brought artificiality to the fore. Nandlalbhai got himself photographed and then called Manglabehn. I did not like that at all.

At around 1:00 a.m. Bapu’s lifeless body was carried inside the bathroom to bathe him. All of us wept while carrying him to the bathroom. Bapu’s dhoti, his shawl, and handkerchief were soaked in his blood. A bullet fell from the folds of his clothes. Bapu was bathed by Kaka and Bhai Saheb and others. We made a bed of flowers. We spread flowers on the bed that Bapu used. We lay Bapu’s lifeless body on it. His head and face were uncovered, so were the wounds on his chest.

We sang bhajan and dhun all night long. At 3:30 we recited the complete Gita. Jawaharlalji came twice during the night. He would come, gaze at Bapu’s lifeless body, place his hand over Bapu’s fore-head, and weep. He has lost a father in the true sense. He would come every evening and share the tales of his joys and woes. Each one was joined in their pain and loss. Who was to give succour to whom?

This afternoon when the Muslim delegation had come, Bapu had asked to see my notebook in which I had recorded the con­versation. I gave him the diary. He said, ‘You have written well. But handwriting should be like that of Mahadev. You would not know but all those who have tried to emulate Mahadev’s hand­writing have been successful. Kanu, Kanti, and Chandrashankar are among those. Chandrashankar leads in the attempt. His hand is so like Mahadev’s that even those who are familiar with both make a mistake. One should not write like a clerk, there should be improvement in the handwriting as well.’

The ways of God. That was the last time he looked at my diary.

(This is an edited excerpt from The Diary of Manu Gandhi
(1946-1948), edited and translated by Tridip Suhrud.)

Abha Gandhibook excerptMahatma GandhiManu GandhiNathuram GodseThe Diary of Manu Gandhi (1946-1948)