This Means War

A vulgar bromance about two CIA agents who woo the same woman

This is a ‘jock’ movie about two CIA agents who use their department surveillance resources to woo the same woman. The film is so ‘dumbed down’ it scrapes the bottom of the barrel and struggles to be classed as cinema. Some of the duo’s lines and performances could have been put up on YouTube as ‘duffer dudes’ and got a lot of laughs. But more seriously—and this is something Hollywood seems blasé about—the CIA is made to look like a cartoonish organisation of American flippancy.

FDR and Tuck (Chris Pine and Tom Hardy, respectively) are tough guys who like to think they can do without women. But Tuck, who poses as a travel agent to cover his hush hush CIA job, is lonely because his wife has left him. He logs on to an online dating site and finds Lauren (Reese Witherspoon). But when he goes for his first date with her, his partner treats it like a dangerous CIA operation and decides to follow him at a safe distance. Well, one thing leads to another and FDR gets the hots for Lauren too.

The male bonding and ménage à trois in This Means War means it is a ‘bromance’ with a homoerotic sub-text. This is particularly emphasised when both men use all the spy cameras and microphones at their office disposal to stalk Lauren and find out exactly what she likes and what she thinks. They also watch each other make out with her and share comparative data on their performances. It’s kind of gross, even for a male locker room movie.

Only one scene is amusing. Lauren likes the work of Gustav Klimt, so FDR gets himself wired to a CIA version of Wikipedia and rattles off data on the Austrian painter until suddenly the line gets cut and he is back to being a ‘jock’. The lowest common denominator is never too far away.

CIAjocktough guys