Happy New Whatever…

 AS THE NEW YEAR dawns on us, here are some of the things I wish for in 2026, for both our country and the world.

• I hope we can have more intelligent leaders, especially ones who govern state or national capitals. We can’t have lunatics who can’t differentiate between AQI and IQ talking about air pollution, because the only pollution they must be significantly aware of is their intellectual pollution.

It is sad that a party like BJP chooses some real dimwits to represent them at the state level when they have a prime minister who is hardworking, a home minister on the ball, and yet we, the citizens, have to suffer these ignoramuses. I also hope that the chief minister of Haryana, a fine gentleman by the name of Nayab Singh Saini, wakes up and is told by his staff that there will be a monsoon in 2026. And that he and his administration need to wake up to the fact before the rains deluge us once again.

The tragedy of our country is that we have smart cities run by some of the most unsmart people, and I hope 2026 injects some level of smartness and, more importantly, a high level of accountability into these fine minds.

• I hope we as a country can wake up to the fact that we are essentially an uncivil nation. Our manners have gone to the dogs, and while on the subject of dogs, even dogs behave better.

We put on our mobile phones listening to Daler Mehndi at volumes that would make hydrogen bombs (no pun intended) look insipid. I’ve never understood why sitting in an airplane, or for that matter on a train, I must be subjected to some of the most heinous activities on someone else’s mobile. Not to mention that many of their progeny run around like headless chickens trying to vitiate the silence and peace on either a plane cabin or in a railway compartment.

• I hope people who travel, especially from our country, and travel all over, be it in India or outside, recognise that while we are seen as a great country, we are seen as terrible citizens. We litter with wanton glee, we leave our remnants as if we were Shah Jahan, and then we go about our business without a care. If you look around and see some of our hill stations and pilgrimage sites, you know why God is so upset with us.

Can you imagine the plight of people living in those areas when they have to contend with loutish tourists driving their cars into lakes and seas because they believe they are Lewis Hamilton’s illegitimate children? And yet no one seems to give a damn.

• I wish Donald J Trump all the success. I hope he is able to get into Pakistan, capture Asim Munir and Shehbaz Sharif, bring them to the Metropolitan Detention Center in Brooklyn, and leave them to the rats.

• I pray and hope that the children of India are not subjected to the ruination that has befallen them. Because of air pollution, because of floods, these are the first victims. They have to stay at home. They miss school. They miss valuable education. They miss time with their friends because some jokers in power can’t get to run a government in a proper and seamless manner.

• And finally, I hope each one of you lead a happy, healthy, and prosperous life, no matter the typhoid or the dysentery or any such thing. Remember, India is like the bumblebee. Aerodynamically, the bumblebee is not supposed to fly because of its shape, but the bumblebee doesn’t know that, so it flies happily.

We are the world’s bumblebees.

Have a splendid 2026.