Lullaby of a New Father in Parliament

My son, apple of my scheming eyes, I have so many dreams for you…

My son, apple of my scheming eyes

I have so many dreams for you

I see you gather a rabid crowd

From a golden stage shouting loud

And burning then a bus or two

 

It will not be easy, this politics

You’ll stumble, sometimes you’ll fail

Often there will be nothing coming

From a 3G Spectrum sale

But always keep this in mind

We might be like pigs in sties

But we get to increase FSIs

And as a humble party member

We get to screw so many lives

For every road that comes to be

We get to sell a footpath free

And once we sit in standing committees

We can even treble the asking price

 

My son, apple of my scheming eyes

I see you proud in Parliament

Slyly ignoring the quorum bell

And when the whip gives the signal

The first to go down the Well

But if ever you lose an election 

Remember this father’s final advice

We are politicians, we don’t say die

Next time, double the votes you buy

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