2025 In Review: Society: The Sober Truth about Sex

 THE YEAR 2025 saw men, women and other genders in the LGBTIQA+ rainbow grouping coming to terms with movements and trends of previ­ous years in order to redefine their sex­ual needs and choices. As always, the outcome has been a heady mix of the good, the bad and the ugly.

The ‘MeToo’ movement, thanks to which many men now re­alise what they thought were their rights were not actually their rights, but excesses at the cost of someone else’s rights and choices, did leave its mark for 2025, in which there have been more intense and animated conversations than in recent years about mindful­ness. It also saw, as a backlash, the emergence of trends such as pleasure mapping, which prioritises equality and mutual respect over sexual conquests and selfishness. The year, as luck would have it, saw heightened awareness among sexual partners — of all genders and sexual orientations—to map what gives each other maximum pleasure. This includes exploring various factors such as timing, temperature, and the parts of the body most stimulated in particular postures. This can be defined as an exercise in discover­ing anew what gives ultimate carnal pleasure for partners, as well as in fighting off performance anxieties. This is, therefore, the age of customised lovemaking and connection.

As a result, according to sexologists surveyed by Open in New Delhi and outside India, people are zealously experimenting with ways to make the most of their sexual unions. In the case of men, although these practices were around since the dawn of time, mas­turbating the prostate has become a much-talked-about subject in sexual wellness circles, in addition to variants of oral sex. A paper published this year in the National Library of Medicine, titled “Reduc­tion of Prostate Cancer Risk: Role of Frequent Ejaculation”, offered a scientific basis, too, to the act: “Increased ejaculation without risky sexual behaviour could be an important means of reducing the significant medical costs and physical and psychological side effects of unnecessary diagnosis and treatment of low-risk tumours... The main aim of this review is to shed light on possible mechanisms involved in regulating ejaculation frequency and PCA [prostate cancer] risk reduction. Although some crucial gaps remain unex­plained, the description of a brain network responsible for con­trolling the ejaculatory response and the identification of a spinal generator of ejaculation represent an important milestone.”

Medical News Today says this typically is performed by a per­son gently inserting his or her lubricated finger or a sex toy into the anus of the partner, or oneself, slowly pushing on the front wall of the rectum. This is also called prostate milking because, in the end, it releases the prostate fluid. This is where therapeutic stimulation meets sexual euphoria.

Seekers of sexual pleasure from among the female of the spe­cies continue to lay great emphasis on clitoris stimulation using different ways, including employing what is commonly called “electrosex”, toys that send electrical impulses to private parts, some of which can be done solo.

This year, it was a clear case of art imitating life when it came to a section of movies and books, although there are those that clung to old, feudal bonds. Not entirely from a sexual angle, but this year’s popular movie Hamnet sees things from the eyes of William Shakespeare’s wife, Agnes, reversing her marginalisa­tion by highlighting her emotions and giving her agency. Lynne Ramsay’s Die My Love is another film—starring Jennifer Lawrence as a young woman in rural US battling severe postpartum depres­sion—that ensured the male gaze didn’t go unchecked. The stress on the female gaze is only growing. Again, despite it getting bad reviews, Nicole Kidman’s Holland focuses on the emotional upheavals wom­en face in certain families in suburban US. The pendulum may keep swinging between celebrating the male gaze and the female gaze in films; nonetheless, there is a great demand among sexual partners to be treated with respect irrespective of their gender and sexuality in real life. Similarly, various surveys show that sex among older people is becoming prioritised as well as less stigmatised. More fo­cus has been paid to sexual trends on solo sex, too, which has largely been seen as a safe form of stress relief and self-care among those who wish to avoid the hellish chaos of relationship abuse.

Nothing, however, stops ethical non-monogamy (ENM) from being one of the most Googled relationship queries in 2025, ac­cording to several reports, even as many couples and unmarried people chose to embrace this trend with greater vigour. Mean­while, an academic paper this year, titled “Countering the Mo­nogamy-Superiority Myth: A Meta-Analysis of the Differences in Relationship Satisfaction and Sexual Satisfaction as a Function of Relationship Orientation” penned by Joel R Anderson and others, said that there is “evidence that non-monogamous individuals are likely to experience equal levels of relationship and sexual satisfaction as monogamous individuals, thus providing robust evidence to dispel the monogamy-superiority myth.” It added: “Much of the stigma and discrimination surrounding non-mo­nogamy is based on the belief that it is inferior to monogamy, and significantly impacts those who choose to practice non-monog­amous relationship configurations… the results of the present review call into question some of the common misconceptions about non-monogamy and may help reduce the stigma and dis­crimination experienced by non-monogamous individuals.”

In fact, a rise in the popularity of ENM also meant women as­serting themselves, especially in advanced countries and among the upwardly mobile in the rest of the world, as they insist on “af­firmative consent”, another way of stating no means no, after cen­turies of being pushed to the margins in terms of their preferences.

At the same time, slow sex as well as relationship anarchy con­tinues to thrive this year as other people seek virtual sex therapy. Increasingly, wearables measuring heart rate, hormonal changes and other key indicators of sexual health and performance have also become all the rage among connoisseurs looking for insights to boost their sexual well-being. People are continuing to experi­ment with sex toys, pH-balanced washes, lubricants and several other products that promise to make sex more intimate, pleasant and hygienic.

This year much more than in previous years, there has been growth in what they call hyper-technological intimacy (thanks to AI partners, VR, etc). But such trends were not without resistance.

 A reactionary movement towards this radical presence also made itself known this year, according to surveys and research done by Open. In fact, while AI companions moved from the fringes of the internet to the mainstream dating conversation—driven by loneliness as well as a certain desire among people for safe inter­actions—sober sex, meaning intimate liaisons done without the influence of alcohol or drugs, also made a great impact.

In the virtual space, apps like Dream Companion and numer­ous others offered “safety-loving” people the option to use NSFW (Not Safe for Work) AI chatbots to make adult-friendly conversa­tions—where they end up deriving vicarious pleasure pretending to make love and hook up. Don’t be mistaken: these AI girlfriends and boyfriends are multimodal agents with long-term memory, voice and other capabilities. Since these “relationships” don’t need any physical contact, critics call it “intimacy atrophy”.

ALONGSIDE THESE PRACTICES, porn has become a major obsession among a large number of people, to the extent of leaving them numb and zombie-like, thanks to excessive exposure.

Even so, 2025 saw a good chunk of Gen Z take a break from porn-influenced sex and shift towards “sexual wellness” as a health fad. They prefer “sobergasms”, attained through sober sex. On various blogs and social media sites, there is a lot of talk about karezza (af­fectionate touch), too, besides slow sex, as the priorities of Gen Z shifted from performance to connection. A couple this writer spoke to in Mumbai say that although they used to try BDSM (Bondage & Discipline, Dominance & Submission, Sadism & Masochism) and other frequent and “adventurous” sexual experiences in the company of other like-minded couples, they have now “mellowed down”, adding that lately they make their sex enjoyable by being to­gether in exotic locations, playing cards (like MyMuse naughty card bedroom adult games, in which when you pick a card you are asked to perform a certain action for the part­ner), and by using toys. A Chennai-based married man named Prakash, who calls himself a “sex aficionado”, says that he logs on to dating apps, es­pecially ones like Ashley Madison and others, to find partners. “I know that a lot of women use Gleeden to find the right match for them. The number of people using such platforms to ensure that they enjoy sexual freedom is ris­ing, because when you are in this net­work you know how widespread its use has become,” he claims.

There are trends and counter-trends. Wellness is one side of it. On the other is something called ‘gooning’, another widely Googled word, which stands for prolonged masturbation that causes a trance-like state. This can happen thanks to a range of activities, but predominantly edging (which is masturbation in which climax is repeatedly delayed) and porn consumption. There were several mentions in discussions online and offline about gooning-induced erectile dysfunction and dopamine burnout. It became one of the most Googled sex-related health queries of the year. This practice—in which some people surround themselves with multiple screens and confine themselves to a room, which some analysts call a goon cave—has sparked a fierce debate about the brain’s plasticity and the long-term effects of short-form, high-stimulation content on sexual function.

This year also witnessed what experts call the relationship escalator (meet, fall in love, marry, produce kids) crumble in a rela­tive sense, including in the developing world. It is also believed that solo polyamory gained traction widely this year. Unlike tra­ditional polyamory (which often still centres on couples), “solo poly” stresses autonomy—people who have multiple intimate relationships but live alone, manage their own finances, and iden­tify primarily as individuals rather than partners.

The artificial-versus-real debate got shriller this year as evi­dent from the rise of AI partners as well as dating sites, including those for extramarital sex. At the same time, there is a growing tide—despite political upheavals—against toxicity that bleeds into sexual self-esteem.

The return of slow sex, slow dating, long glances and hand touches is proof of resistance and a counter-cultural trend. The “Year in Search 2025” for sex was dominated by educational queries (Where is the G-spot? Why do I bleed? etc) instead of purely por­nographic terms, signalling a hunger for basic biological literacy.

Interestingly, the frequency of sex continued to decline, accord­ing to multiple surveys, especially among Gen Z, who prefer safety to adventure and connection to orgasm following a time that saw a massive rise in oversharing, revenge porn, deepfakes and data breaches, and so on. People tend to value intimacy more than ever before in recent decades, even as tech majors invest more in porn. For instance, ChatGPT has said it will allow users to generate porn as it races to compete with other AI chatbots. Sam Altman wrote on X recently: “Now that we have been able to mitigate the se­rious mental health issues and have new tools, we are going to be able to safely relax the restrictions in most cases.”

That said, the number of people who join clubs seeking a partner whose values align with theirs is increasing worldwide, especially among younger people who, surveys state, are making less love on average than people of pre­vious generations. But it cannot be said that the quality of their connections is on the decline. Gen Z largely prefer sta­ble and high-quality relationships in real life, whether they find their partners online or offline. They seem to believe that it is the quality, and not quantity, of sex that determines happiness in a relationship. Maybe less is more in an age of hyper-sexualisation and porn overload.