A Knot in the Plot

I FEEL AS if I participated in the recent grand pre-wedding in Jamnagar. We, the general public, were able to witness the celebrations of bride and groom, their families, the internationally rich and famous, cricketers, and much of the Indian film industry, albeit mostly from Mumbai. I wish the young couple a long and happy life together.

Indian weddings are globally renowned. The sheer scale of an Indian wedding is unimaginable to foreigners and it’s well known that few if any of London’s luxury hotels are able to cope with the number of invitees. The lavish hospitality is on a different scale from most European weddings with several days of feasting, with accommodation and transport often provided. The wedding outfits and elaborate menus and enjoyment of wealth on as grand a scale as the families can afford (and often beyond) are breathtaking. The guests also wear splendid outfits and jewellery as well as making generous gifts. I have felt like a country mouse arriving at such events— one of them straight from Mumbai airport in jeans and a t-shirt—though my gracious hosts ensured I felt like royalty. No wonder foreign visitors in India are happy to pay substantial amounts to attend weddings.

This is nothing new with even the gods having such weddings where all the senses are delighted with exquisite beauty, music, and song. In my weekly study group of the Ramcharitmanas, we have been enjoying reading about the glory of Rama and Sita’s wedding for several sessions, with even a poet like Tulsidas telling us it is so wonderful that “it cannot be described”: banai na baranat bani baraata.

Nor is it surprising that the wedding has been a key feature of Hindi cinema throughout its history, as it shows an ideal form of beautiful people, singing and dancing to celebrate love and romance within the family unit. Wedding songs and romantic songs from films must have been performed by wedding bands for years, but my own experience is of the Bollywood era (that is, the last 30 or so years). I was once leading a baraat from the Taj Mumbai to a nearby venue with a Welsh friend arriving on a white mare with a bride from Mumbai. None of the foreigners, though dancing enthusiastically, knew the songs so I asked the band leader to play something “Western”. They struck up ‘Mera naam hai Chin Chin Choo’.

Many film names make it clear that the film is about weddings [examples include Monsoon Wedding (2001), Mere Yaar Ki Shaadi Hai (2002), Vivah (2006), Band Baaja Baaraat (2010), Tanu Weds Manu (2011), Humpty Sharma Ki Dulhania (2014), Veere Di Wedding (2018) and more]. Alongside these are many movies that have a wedding that is the goal of the protagonists, whereas others feature a wedding that may introduce characters to each other or prompt them to think about their own weddings. These can be at any point during the film. The first time I saw Kabhi Kabhie (1976), I was baffled when the heroine married someone other than the hero before the opening credits rolled. As the story unfolded, it was clear that this drove the story, which ended with their children’s wedding.

One of the most popular stories in Indian film history, that of Devdas, which has been made many times in several languages, is about a marriage but one that didn’t happen, although the souls of Devdas and Paro are linked for life and beyond in a sort of spiritual marriage. Queen (2014) is also about a wedding that didn’t happen, but the opening song and dance from the pre-wedding, ‘London thumakda’ have become a great favourite.

Other films have sad but romantic wedding songs. Ranbir Kapoor has two great songs as he walks away from the weddings, the first of a friend in ‘Kabira’ from Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani (2013), then the very romantic song as he says farewell to his beloved at her wedding in ‘Channa mereya’ from Ae Dil Hai Mushkil (2016). The language of both songs is more Urdu (with Punjabi) than Hindi, as suits their Sufi tinge but are more likely sung internally by the broken-hearted in similar situations.

The wedding features not only to add spectacle or to create or loosen a knot in the plot but also to allow for a whole range of songs that then circulate outside the films, often reappearing in real-life weddings as song and dance in sangeet ceremonies, the baraat and its arrival, as well as the sad vidayi songs.

Some film songs refer to particular wedding ceremonies such as the shoe stealing (‘Joote de do paise le lo’) in Hum Aapke Hain Koun…! (1994) or the ‘Mehndi laga ke rakhna’ in Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge (1995). Some films feature songs that centre on particular communities other than the north Indian/Punjabi standard such as ‘Nagada nagada’ at a Sikh wedding in Jab We Met (2007). ‘Dholi taro dhol baaje’ (Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam,1999) has a Gujarati feel, whereas I doubt the same has happened to ‘G-U-J-J-U’ (Kal Ho Naa Ho, 2003); ‘Sooraj ki baahon mein’ for a Christian wedding in Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara (2011); and Muslim in ‘Jashn-e-baharaa’ from Jodhaa Akbar (2008). Films that have cross-regional weddings are the Tamil-Punjabi 2 States (2014) which has a Tamil song ‘Ullam paadum paadal’, while the Vicky Donor (2012) wedding tries to combine Bengali and Punjabi nuptials. The Bengalis look horrified at the Punjabi song ‘Rum & Whisky’ but are learning bhangra moves by the end.

While Yash Chopra set the screen style for weddings and his songs, in particular ‘Mere haathon mein nau nau choodiyan hain’ (Chandni, 1989), are still performed at weddings where they have iconic status and recall his styling of romance, the work of his great fan and close family friend, Karan Johar, who has now defined the (North Indian) wedding style typified by ‘Kudmayi’ at the end of Rocky Aur Rani Kii Prem Kahaani (2023). Sanjay Leela Bhansali’s songs, which are not wedding songs in the films, are very popular so ‘Jhume re gori’ (Gangubai Kathiawadi, 2022), while ‘Deewani Mastani’ from Bajirao Mastani (2015) is a must.

The fascination with Indian weddings is also seen in the OTT series Made in Heaven whose protagonists are two wedding planners. The series had a wedding in every episode, each of which covered a range of different issues around ideas of love, family, and weddings themselves among the metropolitan elite. However, the reach of the series is nothing like that of the films.

Although my reference is only to Hindi cinema, North India, and its diaspora, and excludes South India and its cinemas, the reach of these songs is much wider. I attended a British-Pakistani wedding where the families danced to Hindi film songs, and I recently attended a wedding in Marrakech where the groom was from Mumbai but the bride was Moroccan. At the night hosted by the Indian side, the Moroccans enjoyed the Indian song and dance along with the rest of the party. Hindi film songs are also popular with many non-desi youngsters and are played at wedding parties.

Hindi cinema has added glamour to Indian weddings. The mutual dynamic between film and real-life weddings is more than just borrowings of song and dance. The ideas of love and romance in the films are part of everyday life. The images of the stars come with the songs.

Cinema has also done something impossible by creating the idea of an ‘Indian’ wedding (at least for North India), as in real life, every community has different ceremonies, dress, music, and more. Just as cinema has created a mostly mutually intelligible form of Hindi, and indeed spread its use to diasporic communities, so with the wedding where specific rituals seen in films, such as hiding shoes, are becoming pan-Indian while others remain community markers such as the dandiya among Gujaratis. Although religious and legal contracts may vary, Hindi cinema unifies the Indianness of the wedding which remains a major feature across genres. Weddings are an important part of Indian society, connecting families and wider social groups. The dynamic between cinema and actual weddings shows the wider social understanding of love, romance, and the family as well as ideas of beauty, poetry/lyrics, and the role of tradition in contemporary India.

Part of the incredible spectacle of the pre-wedding was seeing the many Bollywood elements from the music and dancing through the outfits to the guest list itself. Perhaps this is the final proof, in the face of astounding denial, that despite rumours of its decline, Bollywood is the cultural form of North India.

Band Baaja BaaraatBollywoodcross-regional weddingsHumpty Sharma Ki DulhaniaIndian cinemaTamil-Punjabi 2 StatesVicky Donor