The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn

This is the sexiest part of the vampire-human romance saga yet

Bella is a when she gets married to Edward. Now when you marry a vampire, you have to be very careful, because if you bleed on the wedding night, the man is likely to get ideas. As it is, their honeymoon suite, on a beautiful island in Brazil, looks like a shipwreck the morning after—bed broken, sheets strewn, and Bella with a Cheshire cat grin that tells you all.  She is the cat that got the cream, Mr Robert Pattinson, esq, and girls across the ‘Twihard’ universe are in ecstatic mourning. 

This fourth edition of the Twilight saga is the sexiest yet. The wedding is beautiful, and Bella (Kristen Stewart) looks gorgeous. For a nanosecond, you see the ‘runaway bride’ look cross her face and then she calms down as she sees Edward waiting at the altar. The  reception is secular and cosmopolitan and humans and vampires socialise charmingly.

Just one odd conversation unsettles you. Bella tells the third angle of her triangle—Jacob the werewolf (Taylor Lautner)—that she is going to sleep with her husband and the man looks thunderstruck. Why?

It is possible that this bizarre discussion explains the whole Twilight phenomenon. Inaccessibility, in a teenage world that is increasingly open to early relationships, is very attractive. That it is dangerous to kiss a goodlooking vampire and that it is disastrous to have a child by him is the key.  Just as Harry Potter brought old world schooling (Hogwarts) back in fashion, Twilight moves anti-clockwise too, and turns virginity and celibate romance into mainstream teenage culture. 
Bella’s pregnancy, then, becomes a validation of the vampire’s theory of relativity. The baby starts kicking in 14 days flat and consumes so much energy that it starves the mother. The childbirth itself is a bloodbath and would put a teenager off pregnancy for the first half of her life. That isn’t such a bad message, is it?

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