Half out of Kilter

The fashionable male was expecting doomsday but was left grappling.

The new man of the Zero Decade has had his own tryst with trendlessness. He was no longer the Scotch-on-the-double swirler, whose every move you could predict. He was Scotch in quite another sense, and a whole lot else besides. Just as the woman was in rebellion mode, so was the man of the zips. He was so sure that World War III, or at least Armageddon, was upon us, that a fashion trend was of minor concern.

When neither of the two doomsday scenarios unfurled its horrors upon us, the man found himself half out of kilter. Suddenly, he had no trends to follow, and thus began the most laborious fashion rehash exercise in recent times. The jury may still be out on how many buttons a jacket should have, but what’s more interesting is the decade’s big turnaround. Most of the early and middle Noughties looked down on formalwear, with ties and suits seen as remnants of an era much too stiff-collared. But then, with the swiftness of a confused blue bull in the middle of an expressway, sensibilities ran right back. What followed was an endorsement of the new trimmed down, Atkins-diet power suit: tapered trousers, an ode to the Roaring 20s and Gangster 30s.

And while men were resigning themselves to a wardrobe that required the guts to be sucked in, thanks to Indian designers prescribing slim silhouettes, there was also a movement towards casualwear, often veering on the hippie—fishermen pants with canvas loafers and monogrammed jackets. The Zero Decade has been one of co-existence: a movement towards the regimental, with clothing structured under army influence, together with an obsessive fascination for anything that defied structure, with self-consciousness taking on fresh meaning.

Also, fashion sprang geek chic upon the world. The uncoordinated look was cool. All self respecting sunglasses had to be wayfarers, unless you wanted good old-fashioned aviators like those worn by Abhay Deol in Dev D. Nerdy schoolboy hair, the preppy high school argyle sweater and jacket, it all became a way to dress. But even the geek wasn’t the way to go. Rappers, thanks to Kanye West, replaced the pants with a more grown-up look.

Somewhere in the latter half of the decade came the ‘think pink’ movement, straight as ever—cueing the spoonerism ‘pink dailies’ more than ‘pink ladies’ (from Grease)—though shade variants like fuchsia shirts did seem a tad too deviant to some.

Meanwhile, male hairstyles had their own trendlessness to sport. Worn extra long, surfer-dude shaggy, emo cut or even buzz cut, as long as it was low-maintenance, it was cool.

Oh, and why forget the retrosexual? The old school man who held doors open, wore pocket squares and spouted words of kindly advice. True, some designers were intent on showing off the male ankle, but others drew the line with Don Johnson’s sockless sneakers. There, there. For every bit of kohl that designers tried to line their eyes with, they added their own bit of facial fuzz.

Wish the Noughties well… it was one helluva decade.

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Kabeer Sharma